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Terrible interview gaffes

Ever felt you made a major faux pas during an interview? Retold by real job candidates and employers around the globe, here are some stories you'll have a hard time beating:

  • I was very prepared; researched the company, understood the job and the organisation and had rehearsed my presentation. I felt really quite confident. After exchanging introductions the receptionist handed me a note reading 'Your trousers are undone". David, UK
  • My interviewer walked me out of the building, where I promptly got BOTH HEELS OF MY SHOES stuck in a pavement grating. So I'm standing there immobile, mumbling pleasantries while trying not to make it obvious that I can't move. After a few minutes that seemed interminable to me, standing there like an idiot, she finally said goodbye and I had to take off my shoes and jerk them out of the grating in my business suit. Catherine, Spain
  • I parked my old, beaten up Mazda in the Managing Director's parking spot and argued forcefully when he tooted his horn behind me asking to park somewhere else. He was the interviewer and I never even got an interview let alone a job. Edward, Malta
  • Having had to stay overnight at a hotel to get to an early morning interview, I had my overnight things in my briefcase. At the end of the meeting when I got up to leave my briefcase opened and spilled everything - yesterday's boxers and socks, spare shirt, toiletries and half-eaten lunch - all over the floor. I was somewhat red-faced as I hastily crouched and shoved everything back in the case. I got the job, though. Dave, Canada
  • As the job interview drew to a close, I turned round to leave and found myself facing two identical doors, side by side. I lunged for the nearest and was halfway through before realising it was a cupboard... Joe, UK
  • Before interviewing a chap for an accountancy post, we gave him a 45 minute computer spreadsheet test. When we went back after 45 minutes he was surfing the internet. He said he looked at the test for five minutes, didn't like all the figures and so decided to take advantage of some free surf time. Adrian, UK


CV Bloopers

(hilarious blunders taken from real CVs)



Description of Self:

  • “The idea of finding purpose and drive, in both life and a career, is something that I have thought about, and am currently exploding”
  • “I am a marketing master that can develop unlimited campaign ideas from the fertile right side of my brain”
  • “A wealth of experience combined with the desire to do more make me both enthusiastic and frustrated”
  • “The colors red, blue, and lavender are those that I identify with the most. I feel they accurately describe my personality”
  • “Although I trained as an Accountant and for the past eight years I worked for a major Accountancy firm, I am no good at my job and get bored very easily.
  • “My name is ____  and I kick ass. See resume for details”
  • “…a loan and credit underwriter, experienced at analising loan applications and…
  • “I tend to only procrastinate when I have to make a decision”
  • “Let's meet, so you can get really excited over my experience”
  • “I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Will consider anything, please feel free to respond to my CV and call me on my work number”

How to fail a job interview

Want to make sure you don't get the job? You'll be doing the parting handshake in a matter of seconds if you reply to interview questions as shown below, but for the sake of a laugh let's share them with you.


INTERVIEWER: "What interests you about our company?"

APPLICANT: "Um....I heard you were hiring?"



INTERVIEWER: Have you ever brought a lawsuit against an employer?


APPLICANT 1:

"I don't think that's an appropriate question" - boring


APPLICANT 2:

"No, but I'm always open to new experiences" - very daring



INTERVIEWER: "Can you work under pressure?"
APPLICANT:
"If I don't get this job I'll lose my house, my wife, my children and the car. How am I doing so far?"



INTERVIEWER: "If you were a character in the 'Lost' TV series, which one would you be?"

APPLICANT: "Jack"


INTERVIEWER: (Raises eyebrow) "Jack?"


APPLICANT: (Pauses and gazes upward as if in deep thought, and then looks interviewer directly in the eye) "Definitely. Jack. But what does that have to do with being a Junior Accounts Clerk?"

Worst Job Applicants

Think your interview went badly?  It could have been much worse.  Provided by real Human Resources managers, here are some of the world's worst job applicants to ever have graced an interviewer's office:

  • Job applicant answers mobile phone and asks the interviewer whether she minds leaving her own office because it's a "private" conversation.
  • Candidate tells interviewer he won't be able to stay with the job long because he is expecting an inheritance if his uncle dies -- and his uncle isn't "looking too good."
  • Candidate asks the interviewer for a lift home after the interview.
  • Candidate smells his armpits on the way to the interview room.
  • Candidate admits he was fired for physically assaulting his last boss.
  • Applicant is offered food before the interview and declines, saying he would rather go out drinking on an empty stomach.
  • A candidate for an accounting position says she is a "people person" not a "numbers person."
  • Candidate flushing the toilet while talking to interviewer during a phone interview.
  • Candidate taking out a hair brush and brushing her hair.
  • Applicant bounces up and down on the office carpet and tells interviewer she must be highly thought of by the company to get such a thick carpet.
  • If hired, enthusiastic applicant says he will demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
  • Candidate shows up with price tag still on the sleeve of his suit.
  • Candidate says he doesn't like windows. When asked what operating system he prefers, he replies," I prefer to work in the dark"